@SnellWarren: My mind is always on fast forward while my body's in slow motion. I'm just like that channel where the sound is out-of-sync w/ the picture.
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@badteacher4u: Strangely enough, yelling "I have a masters degree!" at this electric wine opener is not helping me figure out how to make it work. Weird.
@caribbeanaj: I really wanted to remarry the woman I divorced a year ago, but she said I was only after my money.
@ShanaRose21: I can never find my cars keys but I won't forget that time you checked out another woman at the mall four years ago.