@Miss_Firefly_: My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I'm suspicious that I'm up to something i dont want myself to know about.
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@iwearaonesie: *comes home from work *wife jumps in my arms *sees I'm crying wife: Why are you crying? me: You just crushed all the Oreo's in my fanny pack
@rolldiggity: "I don't know where this rumor started, but Company and I are just good friends." -Misery
@kentgrossarth: Sign: "No alcohol past this point." Translation: Bet you can't chug this entire beer, right now.