@TheTobbie: My mind: "Today was a productive day." My body: "Please don't drink 11 cups of coffee again."...
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@knot_eye: I often wondered what it'd be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while.
@TheWoodenslurpy: Me: If I were you, I’d confront your boss Friend: You would? Me: I wouldn’t. If I were you, I would. If it were me, I’d do what you’re doing
@RumAndReeses: Whew, good thing there's a facebook petition for ending the shutdown, or else we'd be in real trouble.