@StellaGMaddox: My minivan is always rocking, but it's usually because I'm trying to smack one of the kids in the backseat while I drive.
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@JUSTLisandra: Having my wisdom teeth pulled. They have nothing left to teach me. I must learn on my own from now on.
@Jarhead44: My ex just followed me on Twitter. That said: "Say hello to Hitler for me, Mary." *BLOCKED*
@UrbanDouchebag: Wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard, "Actually sir, we have you on camera."
@seanyeatts: Growing up means you start to find it creepy that your dad's pet name for your mom is "Squirty"