@l1zerd: I think there should be a small amount of weed in every first aid kit.

@BruceForce: Windows 10? Cool! Only 85 more versions before we come back to Windows 95

@pharmasean: If youre giving mouth-to-mouth, and you don’t want to get germs, you can put a harmonica between your lips and the victim’s

@sofarrsogud: SON: *in James Bond costume* Look Daddy, I'm a spy! ME: Well if that's how you introduce yourself, you're a really shit one.

@smithsara79: Oh really, we have nothing in common? Then how do you explain neither of us being able to stand me