@Smethanie: My mom asked if my kids are driving me to drink with the snow days. Told her I've been drinking at home, stupid kids can't reach the pedals.
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@BMcCarthy32: if one member of the motorcycle gang has to pee do they all stop or does he just have to catch back up?
@BuckyIsotope: Just beat Eminem 4000 straight times at musical chairs by playing "The Real Slim Shady" over and over.
@KalvinMacleod: ALIEN: maybe we can teach this planet the secrets of the universe *sees me trying to get pringles from the middle of the can* ALIEN: or not
@Loli_Sug: Hospitals don't like it when you unplug things to charge your phone w/ out asking first