@Mama_in_heels: My mom asked where the remote was and my son told her it was up her ass. She high-fived him and then turned around and slapped me.
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@HatfieldAnne: Um, guys, whaddya do with a 5 y.o. at an aquarium who's hysterical because she sees Dory in a tank and I kind of need to know right now.
@SlayerSays: Don't model myself after Marilyn Monroe, but having imperfections & dying naked in bed clutching bottles of pills & champagne seems doable.