@sara_ashlynn: My mom called and gave me the weekly weather report. I can't wait to do this to my kids.
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@BCMontgo: What's the issue officer? Officer: You have no idea why I pulled you over? I have some ideas, but would like to hear your opinion first.
@VerifiedJayy: When a guy tries to talk to me while at a urinal I instantly slide over and start pissing in his urinal too. See how friendly he really is
@Fred_Delicious: Comic Sans walks into a bar. Barman says "sorry we don't serve your type in here"