@pannuscorium: My mom is a ginger and my dad is Mexican. I guess what I'm saying is that I can only be killed by some elaborate, magical ceremony.
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@SamuelHLowe: - Hello, princess. Can I call you princess? - No. - OK then, Mr. Smith, let's just get started with your prostate exam.
@DeepDarkFear: If a group of lions is called a pride, then a group of humans should be called an embarrassment.
@WheelTod: Jesus' Greatest Miracles: 3) Turning water to wine 2) Raising Lazarus 1) Maintaining a milky-white complexion in a desert climate for 33 yrs
@ShutUpThatsWho: [first karate lesson] Me: *entering dojo* BONSAI!!! Sensei: Do you mean 'Banzai'? Me: *just starts chucking little trees at Sensei*