@pannuscorium: My mom is a ginger and my dad is Mexican. I guess what I'm saying is that I can only be killed by some elaborate, magical ceremony.
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@YourTumblrFeed: *job interview* so tell me a fun fact about yourself Guy: well when I was 5 I fell into the Cincinnati Zoo gorilla exh- get the hell out
@Reverend_Scott: REALTOR: You'll LOVE this home- ME: My dog doesn't like it. REALTOR: But I- ME: [holding dog in realtor's face] I TRUST HIM MORE THAN YOU
@dog_feelings: my ear. is inside out. and the human. is not home to fix it. i have put the household. on alert level. dark grey.
@theawkwardful: My idiot future husband is out there somewhere pushing a pull door. I just know it.