@FSUSteve: My mom just replied to my text with "K." Whooooaaa busy lady, is there some emergency over on FarmVille?
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@tchrquotes: Student:Why do we need to know this? Me: To look smart for your friends. Student:What if I don't want to look smart? Me: You're doing great.
@ArfMeasures: Wife: We're so happy we finish each other's Me: Wife: Me: Wife: Me: Wife: Me: Wife: Marriage Counsellor: ok so not happy
@TheTimeIGotHigh: "I was so high that I cried because I realized that snakes are just tails with faces"
@PleaseBeGneiss: GOD: you breathe water so you’ll be in the ocean SHARK: nice GOD: you breathe air so you’ll be on land HORSE: cool GOD: you’re huge and have fins, you’ll have to be in the ocean BLUE WHALE: ok and I breathe water, yeah? GOD: um BLUE WHALE: um what?