@scorpicpanda: My mom likes to call from baseball games just to say she can't hear me 25 times.
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@jbillinson: Biden: I think if we just leave a small- Obama: No Biden: Just a small Mouse Trap inspired- Obama: No booby traps, Joe
@Darchstar007: Wife: every time we argue, you think you're right. Me: yes, because if I thought you were right, I wouldn't be arguing...
@murrman5: [looking at wife's tombstone] today would've been our anniversary *falls to knees* why did I pre-buy her tombstone causing her to divorce me