@tealbluejay: My mom once called me at 3am to tell me some long lost relative died and hung up on me when I asked if they'd still be dead at 8am.
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@nerdreign: When runner-ups in reality shows say, "I may not have won but I'm still a winner," do they understand how language and/or competition works?
@SamePageDifDay: Soo... I guess when he asked for my number he didn't mean how many lovers I've had?
@rcromwell4: Follow me on Pinterest for seasonal craft ideas and spells for summoning ancient demons.
@MissNaughty1801: Him:I'm not going to use this taxi company again. They nearly killed me this morning Me:don't be so hasty darling...give them another chance