@ANNIEwayyyy: My mom recently figured out that the best way to get me to call her back right away is to text me that someone died but not tell me who.
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@Marcmywords2: That awkward moment when the Priest uses YOUR confession as the theme for his sermon. Again.
@daemonic3: [hospital] "Will dad ever wake from his coma?" WIFE: Of course dear [loudly] LET'S GO HOME TO ORGANIZE & RE-ARRANGE HIS TOOLS DAD: I'M UP