@ANNIEwayyyy: My mom recently figured out that the best way to get me to call her back right away is to text me that someone died but not tell me who.
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@hazelmotes1: Don't judge. Maybe I'm conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don't know.
@OtherDanOBrien: Why yes, YouTube, I *did* want to watch part 5 when part 2 ended. How did you know?
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: The bigger issue about the Hobby Lobby decision is the fact that people working in a craft store are getting laid more than I am.
@donquixote229: I saw a car with a flat tire so I offered to help. She tells me to hurry cause she has a hair appoinment..This is how serial killers r born