@AGreaterMonster: My mom sent me a two paragraph email to inform me that she had called customer service and received $17 off her flight to see me.
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@flashember: [Wildebeest orbiting the earth in a spacesuit, uselessly kicking its legs madly every time a really grassy part comes into view]
@Adar79Angie: Joined a gym once. 12 bystanders were injured. So much blood. 2 people renounced their faith. At night I still hear the treadmill screaming.