@AGreaterMonster: My mom sent me a two paragraph email to inform me that she had called customer service and received $17 off her flight to see me.
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@AndyAsAdjective: Saw a guy riding a unicycle today. Actually, he was riding a bicycle but I didn't see him & I hit him with my car. Then boom! Unicycle.
@TheToxicWaster: My wife said she wants a divorce for valentines day. I wasn't planning to spend that much..
@cambuslad: You totally had me at "I want you" and I was so excited, I completely missed the " To leave me alone" part....Sorry my bad.