@JediGigi: My Mom taught me to treat others the way I want to be treated so I always walk up to strangers and spray canned cheese in their mouth.
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@Brampersandon_: First time flying huh? -Yeah how could you tell? Just a hunch. You wanna come down to your seat? The overhead bin is typically for luggage.
@weinerdog4life: Last time I did drugs I dated an All-In-One Printer for 3 days, so no thank you.
@Rollinintheseat: [High school reunion] Person: "I don't remember you." Me: *starts crying* Person: "Now I remember you."
@RobbyRob313: When I said that you'd always have a place to stay in rough times, I meant like a motel or a shelter. Anyway ... You can't stay here.