@RowdyBerger: My mom thought my laptop on the floor was a scale. My mom weighs 800 dollars
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@Bob_Janke: I have a picture of my uncle standing on a tank he and two buddies destroyed in WWII. I cut my fingernails too short and I might stay home.
@bfrosty04: Sometimes when I'm sad, I'll go to the park and, from a distance, look thru my thumb and index finger and begin squishing people's heads...
@INDlAN_: Dad- I want you to have everything in this world that your heart desires. *Can I have oreos?* [NO]