@KyleMcDowell86: My mom told me not to cry wolf, but it was too late.Wolves were pouring out of my tear ducts, filling the kitchen and adjoining living room.
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@WilliamAder: I wonder if the Three Wise Men said to Jesus, "Just to be clear, these gifts are for your birthday AND Christmas."
@scarebro: My girlfriend broke up with me because she and I had different opinions. My opinion was that I was worth dating.
@mantej: Mother's may get a day, but shark's get a whole week! Mom sharks get 1 week AND a day. ...don't even get me started on black shark moms.
@JoeMande: "Make it look like I live in a Cheesecake Factory." - NBA players to their interior designers