@AdderallMomma: My mom took my child into a store and left me in line to wait for Santa by myself, so now I look like a narcissistic creeper-thanks mom.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@zachreinert03: Ate at w pho restaurant and based on my waitress' facial reaction I'm not sure if I asked for a fork or killed her entire family
@AIanHangover: Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever's bugging you.
@BangMyBongo: Good cop: Just relax Moody cop: OMG, you again? I hate you, but I kinda misssed you, why don't you call anymore? You're going to jail