@maughammom: My 'Mom Voice' was so loud even the neighbors washed their hands and cleaned their rooms.
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@BestWorstAdvice: If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't comeback, tell everyone she has herpes.
@BadassBarbie11: The good news is, I blocked the creepy guy. The bad news is, I'm tweeting this from inside his trunk.
@leshnevsky: Scars make a man handsome? Bathe your cat every day and you'll become the sexiest man in the city very soon!
@papasuncle: I carry a stone around to throw at anyone I hear singing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving. I call it my Jingle Bell Rock.