@msdanifernandez: My mom's favorite internet game is "Log me into the Facebook. Is this the Facebook? Is that your brother? Why is he drinking upside down?"
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@TheTweetOfGod: The real reason David beat Goliath is that when David threw a rock, Goliath threw scissors.
@JanineEB4: People should come with disclaimers like: May cause drowsiness or Will end up sleeping w/your bf or May induce homicidal ideations
@DanMentos: date: So what do you do? me: *pulls out stuffed fox* I'm a taxidermist date: Oh wow fox: and a ventriloquist
@ibid78: [eharmony] based on your responses, your perfect match is a trashcan.. [me] aww [eharmony] ..full of raccoons [me] omg I love raccoons