@stockejock: My mom's favorite part of Mother's Day is describing my birth in detail to an 18 year old waitress who is just there to get our drink order.
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@sixfootcandy: Him: I think I'm getting sick. Me: Do you want some euthanasia? Him: I'm pretty sure it's called echinacea. Me: Tomato, tomahto.
@JournalismJunk: The closest I've come to a threesome is watching my wife and the nurse roll their eyes at the same time while I'm getting weighed.