@stockejock: My mom's favorite part of Mother's Day is describing my birth in detail to an 18 year old waitress who is just there to get our drink order.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Random woman in the store: What's in your mom's tummy? 5-year-old: A baby. Woman: What kind of baby? 5-year-old: A human one. Nailed it.
@DirtMcTurd: Wait, so hallways in mental institutions aren't called psychopaths? Well they should be.
@SciencePorn: The best thing about the Pluto image from NASA is the silhouette of Pluto the dog right on it.