@stockejock: My mom's favorite part of my birthday is describing my birth in detail to an 18 year old waitress who is just there to get our drink order.
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@ShanaRose21: I have a bad habit of starting things and never finishing them. Let's all be thankful I'm not a surgeon.
@MondayPajamas: My new phone has fingerprint recognition security technology and now I can't open my phone unless I'm eating fried chicken