@_oculusmundi: My moods don't just swing - they bounce, pivot, recoil, rebound, oscillate, fluctuate and occasionally pirouette.
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@shamans_heal: I've seen: •UFOs •Ghosts •A Two Headed Turtle •Kimodo Dragons But nothing is as unbelievable to me as seeing Trump run for president.
@truegritrumble: (At My Funeral) FRIEND: Of course he found a way to avoid paying me back my $20. ME: *muted snickering from the casket*
@jergarl: 8: Daddy can we go to a haunted house tonight? Me: You spent the night at Grandmas last week. 8: What? Me: Nothing. 8: I'm telling mom.
@jensenmarie_: Going to dress up as a Jedi today and open automatic doors for people with the force. NO YOU GET A LIFE.