@drunknerdpro: My moral compass just spins.
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@theshamingofjay: Divorce is like hitting the reset button on Super Mario Bros except now you pay for the Princess's castle and hope Bowser kills you.
@faizziy: My friend is mad at me because I saw her using a huge tablet to make a call so I offered her a gas cylinder to light her cigarette..
@That_Damn_Duck: I bet the women who only tweet about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.