@drunknerdpro: My moral compass just spins.
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@kellysdf: Apparently, if you Google "boss" and "chloroform" from your work computer, it sets off an alarm somewhere.
@oria2326: I am so used to automatic doors at work that when I come across one I have to physically open I just stand there like a dummy
@chewlongkok_: Me: C'mon, baby. Just the tip? Her: No! Me: Awww, cmon! Her: No, you're paying the whole bill this time.
@gothicaseas: Always a bridesmaid, never the voice that mysteriously bleeds from the corner of your bedroom wall.