@JennyJohnsonHi5: My Mormon neighbor said it was rude I assumed her husband's surprise birthday party invitation was also an invitation to be her sister wife.
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@abbycohenwl: -You think I'd make a bad Private Eye 'cause I can't read body language? I will prove you wrong! -Sir, you're talking to the murder victim
@DanMentos: "So what do you do?" I'm a wordsmith "A what?" A writer. I deal with words. How about you? "Oh I'm a uh… weedsmith"
@IGotsSmarts: If Minnie Driver married Bradley Cooper her name would be oh god I can't even finish this one