@TheSharona06: My morning commute was hectic today. I tripped over a dog toy and almost spilled my coffee. I made it to the couch safely though.
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@nettie0918: Fastest way to occupy bored kids is to announce we are going to clean Voila Suddenly they all remember plans they've forgotten Ah quiet
@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: Where are the groceries? ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean? *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*
@LaptopShopWH: When the atm charges you 3.50 to take out your own money but tells you to cover your pin so you don't get robbed