@TheSharona06: My morning commute was hectic today. I tripped over a dog toy and almost spilled my coffee. I made it to the couch safely though.
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@KindOfASmartass: It really annoys me when people who barely know you want to become Facebook friends, like an old classmate or someone you've slept with
@LimeyTheGreat: Went out to dinner last night & the hostess asked me "Where would you like to sit?" I replied "preferably on a seat." #accomplished
@SamuelHLowe: -Why didn't you answer your home phone? -Because I'm walking the dog. Don't you trust me? -Of course I trust you! Put the dog on the phone.
@Tmoney68: I'll never understand women. A species that loathes you for asking their age, but tortures you forever if you forget their birthday.