@subtleapt: My mother always told me "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"...and some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them.
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@AGreaterMonster: As it turns out you cannot recharge your cell plugging it in to an electric eel. I'm just glad this aquarium had a paramedic on duty.
@LoveNLunchmeat: I refuse to order in Starbucks lingo. I just order small or medium, and watch everyone hyperventilate.
@krisv_723: On Sunday's I Iike to dress as Satan & stand outside of churches, yelling at the parishioners that it's not working & I own their soul.
@StarksWeek: "Holy shit, that guy eats a lot of pizza" -people that walk by my house on recycling day.