@itsboyschapter: My mother always told me "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"...and some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them.
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@ScottyDsntKnow3: My wife thinks I'm too impulsive. How the hell would she know? We only met last week!
@Ideal_Victoria: *crawls up from backseat* *slowly pulls off paper bag from head* What? No... I’m not embarrassed by your driving
@Mr_Kapowski: 90% of women that wear yoga pants probably don't do yoga. 100% of straight men don't care.