@perhapssomeday: My mother arrives on Friday, so I have to do three months worth of cleaning in 48 hours. Also, lose 30 pounds and live up to my potential.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@aparnapkin: What is it like to be a woman in comedy? I would say it's 1% jokes & 99% answering this question.
@realHamOnWry: My nephew asked, "What's the secret to a long life?" I said, "Never order vegetarian in Texas"
@J_Illunninati: I can't wait til my kids become adults so I can go over their houses & throw clean laundry all over the floor.