@thecrabbyhook: My mother has now been sending me a Valentine's card for 28 years. She's persistent but I'm not interested.
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@david8hughes: [skydiving with my dog] Me: ur ears r inside out My dog: can't hear u my ears r inside out Me: it's the wind My dog: I think it's the wind
@FierceMess: Wanna live a long life? Get married. I guarantee you'll change your mind real quick.
@RelatableQuote: How to break up with someone: You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: Which one? You: ME. You: BYEEEE