@thecrabbyhook: My mother has now been sending me a Valentine's card for 28 years. She's persistent but I'm not interested.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@murrman5: I sniffed my work shirt to see if it was too dirty. Unfortunately I work at a chloroform factory and woke up 6 hours late for my shift
@Alyssa_Jolie: You haven't mastered the Art of Twitter, until you can subtweet yourself, while everyone else thinks it's about them
@CurlsOnGirls: Sing like no one is listening. Dance like you need to be shot with a tranquilizer dart.
@causticbob: If you're using public transport never give up your seat to an old lady... That's how I lost my job as a bus driver.