@thecrabbyhook: My mother has now been sending me a Valentine's card for 28 years. She's persistent but I'm not interested.
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@zacharyflynn: One time a girl told me to take off her shirt and I was like wow ok it doesn't really fit me anyway.
@WheelTod: Shrimp: My mom's coming to visit Starfish wife: Again?! The 3rd time this year? S:She's lonely Wife: Oh grow a spi... S: Grow a what, Karen?
@MelodiMoon: The Frito Lay truck I'm tailing says 'Driver doesn't carry cash.' Hahahaha. I'm not interested in cash.