@ddsmidt: My mother-in-law said "just do what you normally do" when she came to stay with us. Not going to lie, naked Saturday was a little awkward.
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@DadandBuried: They say kids grow up fast but I just licked my thumb & wiped my son's face so parents grow up fast too. I've already become my grandmother.
@Frankie_Val: Gay men aren't fags. Guys who do 70mph, on a suburban side street, in their second-rate sports cars are fags.
@MAngelo505: What I said : Just a trim, please. What hairdresser must've heard : Give me the Kim Jong-un.
@jctwritesstuff: Her: Can you babysit? Me: Uh, what do I do? H: Play games & stuff. M: Like drinking games? H: He's 2. M: H: M: So like no hard liquor or...?