@Brianhopecomedy: My mother-in-law talked non-stop while we watched Criminal Minds and now I have an idea for a cool new episode.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@freypalm: Me, as a judge: OK we’ll take a quick recess now. *lawyers start discussing lawyer things* *I go outside and swing on the swingset*
@Rich_McCarthy: Check for bed bugs by yelling "Gee, I'm so happy there are no bed bugs here!", and if you hear faint giggling, set the bed on fire.
@pseudo_fred: This drag race is not at all what I expected. Are they in dresses INSIDE of the cars, at least?
@pauleggleston: I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was, like, 0mg!