@Brianhopecomedy: My mother-in-law talked non-stop while we watched Criminal Minds and now I have an idea for a cool new episode.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@gogglepossum: Me: My body is a temple Personal Trainer: But what about all the food and wine and parties? Me: It’s a temple to Dionysus
@causticbob: I failed my audition as Romeo through a misunderstanding over a stage direction. My copy of the script said: 'Enter Juliet from the rear'
@Overdue_Bills: My daughter wrote "Daddy is the best" in the snow then smashed it when I made her come inside. She'll make some lucky guy miserable one day.
@lovexios: I hate when people text 'call me'. I'm going to start calling people, say 'text me' and then hang up.