@CtotheASS: My mother is my travel agent for guilt trips.
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@Kimpulses: You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.
@BoogTweets: Psychologist: what is the issue Her: He is one of the most pretentious people I have ever met. Me: *laughing so hard my monocle falls out*
@tsm560: Her: About last night, please understand that wasn't me... that was the wine. Me: ... Her: ... Me: Do you have a phone number for that wine?