@VeggieMonger: My mother said that I looked "cheap" with my bra showing underneath my clothes - so I took my bra off.
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@misfarber: Anthropic principle: the universe must be as it is in order for us to perceive it Anthropomorphic principle: look, I'm a talking principle!
@KevinFarzad: A great way to de-stress is to get in a car & drive til ur in a new town & ur name is Geoff. Doesnt matter if ur a boy or girl, ur Geoff now
@Moemontes: My dentist just looked in my mouth and said something is gonna have to come out. I suspect he's talking about my wallet.
@J0hnnyBlaze: Home Alone is my favorite movie about how child neglect and bad parenting is hilarious