@AksharPathak: My mother was feeling cold so now I'm wearing a sweater.
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@mattsurely: *wife comes home* "Did you fix the toilet?" Yep! [she opens door & is hit by avalanche of plums] "You called the plummer again you idiot!!!"
@thebeckyard: Welcome to your 40s! Your body will do new and exciting things such as sneeze-pee, yawn-burp, and light speed chin hair growth.