@bingowings14: My mum tells me that she turns the internet off when she goes to bed, incase you're wondering why your screen just went blank.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BadCoq: Do you think it's possible to train a hedgehog to walk up an down the table with cubes of cheese on it's spikes? I'm giving a dinner party.
@vladchoc: Your first instinct is gonna to be to spell “leopard” and “deaf” correctly. You’re going to want to resist that. – Best band manager ever.
@TheCiscoKidder: Thinking about getting married? My wife got mad at me for doing all the yard work because we are in a fitbit step challenge together.
@TheHyyyype: [first day in gang] LEADER: ya gotta be street-smart ME: oh i am LEADER: prove it ME: *names every street in city* LEADER: holy shit