@bug_hugs: MY NECK, MY BACK, A STRANGER TOOK MY CAT
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@LoveNLunchmeat: Actually parents are supposed to steal their kid's Halloween candy; that's how you prevent cavities.
@GoldenSpirals: Me: Goodnight Moon. Moon: Don't "Goodnight" me! Do you know what time it is? Where the hell have you been?
@OrvllShrednbchr: 10 years ago, as a joke, I told everyone I was giving up sex for Lent. Haven't gotten laid since. Well played, God.
@BillMc7: Taken 3 ~ It All Ends Here Taken 4 ~ Listen, We're Just As Surprised As You Are Taken 5 ~ Whaaaaat!? Yep...