@bug_hugs: MY NECK, MY BACK, A STRANGER TOOK MY CAT
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@TheDailySchmuck: Damn, girl, are you Terms and Conditions? Because I just want to blindly agree to whatever you say.
@1_swarthy_dude: Her:[watching sunset]"Best date ever! Nothing can ruin this mo.." *crunching sounds* Me:[eating live Monarch butterflies out of a ziplock]
@goldengateblond: OBAMA: I want to close Gitmo GOP: no OBAMA: But you haven't even— GOP: no OBAMA: ... GOP: no OBAMA: I'm resigning GOP: no OBAMA: haha gotcha
@dankmccoy: Insane Clown Posse is really giving a bad name to all the rational clown posses out there.