@bug_hugs: MY NECK, MY BACK, A STRANGER TOOK MY CAT
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@Mindless4Miles: Every gift from a child is special. Except for this, pine cone #763. I could really do without that.
@murrman5: *comes home from poker night earlier than usual looks at wife while picking up the dog and leaves without saying anything*
@jordan_stratton: COWORKER: Wanna come to my NYE party?! ME: Aww... I would, but I already have plans. MORGAN FREEMAN: He did not have plans.
@just1fool: Hey, little bird! Maybe you wouldn't have to move your head around so much looking for threats if you didn't make so much god damn noise!