@bug_hugs: MY NECK, MY BACK, A STRANGER TOOK MY CAT
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheAlexNevil: 6 was jealous about other kids getting notes in their lunches, so I put one in his: "Sorry, I ate your pudding. Love, Dad."
@long_pussy_lips: Sober in an Uber: Please don't talk to me. I don't know you. Drunk in an Uber: I want to get married one day, but I put up emotional walls
@bencoffeehall: My dentist asked me if I had a problem with my gums bleeding. You'd have to be really laid back to not have a problem with that.