@poizngrl: My need for caffeine is so bad I'm going to AA for the free coffee
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@IamEnidColeslaw: I may not have any friends but at least I know my cat will never ask me to help him move
@LuvPug: The best part of the Titanic is when Rose is holding onto Jack and she's all like, 'I'll never let go' and then she lets go.
@AmericanGent69: Me: Excuse me Father, what's the Wifi password? Priest: We're in Church! Me: Oh I'm sorry. What's the Wifi password, Amen.