@poizngrl: My need for caffeine is so bad I'm going to AA for the free coffee
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@garrydavenport: If my mobile provider started charging 3 times as much as their nearest competitor but there was no voicemail, I'd still stay with them.
@3sunzzz: The Shining is my favorite movie about what can happen when you spend too much time with family.
@BadassBarbie11: The fact that this peanut butter jar states that it "Contains Peanuts" makes me extremely nervous for the human race.
@KalvinMacleod: INTERVIEWER: Would you like a donut? ME: *takes three* I: Um, ok, what's your greatest strength? ME: [grabbing two more donuts] Self-control