@TheBoydP: My neighbor called me an old drunk which really offended me. I'm not that old...
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@better_off_dad: God: I made the sky a canvas, the sun & the clouds an ever changing painting of colorful beauty. Devil: I made potato chips.
@AmishPornStar1: Life Tip: If you're ever attacked by a shark, compliment his smile. Sharks are very vain and susceptible to flattery.
@TheRolo: [Updates Christian Mingle bio] "Just like Moses, I pay attention to the bush first" "You have 999 new matches"