@TheBoydP: My neighbor called me an old drunk which really offended me. I'm not that old...
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@the_anastasia: My friend is so stupid she thought Alabama is a city. Don't worry, I informed her Alabama is the president.
@ArfMeasures: ME: One time I was attacked by a shark REPORTER: Wow! [turns on recorder] tell us what it was like ME [leans in to mic] A massive fish
@LeagueofNope: I have never once hit a drink or treated one badly so don't tell me about alcohol abuse!
@YINGY_FLEMMMING: When they announce "all youths stay behind after church. Your Help is needed around the church premises" Me: