@AnitaAlibi: My neighbor called my dog fat the other day. Took me two hours to convince my dog that he just had thick fur.
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@Underchilde: Therapist: Do you have any regrets? Me: Well, this one time— Therapist [pinches bridge of nose] Other than buying fat-free salad dressing.
@TheCatWhisprer: Got the dermatologist recommended detergent and dryer sheets and I'm pretty sure it would've been cheaper to just buy a whole new body.
@shegotagronk: It's so beautiful outside. I should probably do something...Like close the blinds so there isn't a glare on my computer screen.