@DirtMcTurd: My neighbor crashed her car while listening to Adele. She went rolling in the Jeep
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@KeithAshers: Hi, I'm here to see the doctor. -me Witch doctor? -reception Nooo...I think he's Jewish. -me [blank stare] Please sit down.
@QuiteQuietOne: Thanks to yesterday's chili, I can definitively tell you that there are 242 tiles in this bathroom stall.
@SteelCityDawn: A butterfly just landed on the tip of my cigarette & exploded. What in the hell do they put in butterflys?