@FlyJ_: My neighbor is a real douche & always cheating on his wife, so I changed my wifi to KARL IS CHEATING ON YOU AMY for when she needs my wifi.
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@Tmoney68: Toy Story (1995) - A cowboy & a deluded astronaut battle over who gets to sleep with a 6-year-old boy.
@LuckoftheDraw86: *writes 'amount to something' on bucket list* *crosses it out* *writes 'mount something'* Yeah. That's do-able.
@hammbone84: If you guys don't start appreciating my tweets, I will introduce my mom to Twitter. Don't make me ruin this for everyone.