@FlyJ_: My neighbor is a real douche & always cheating on his wife, so I changed my wifi to KARL IS CHEATING ON YOU AMY for when she needs my wifi.
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@doktorj: Enhanced interrogation idea: If waterboarding isn't working, try having my mother brush their hair.
@InternetHippo: It’s inspiring today to see so many voters researching and learning about an important issue they voted on yesterday
@laurajennyjo: I'm not going to intervene next time my kids start fighting, I'm just going to close the door and whoever comes out alive will be my kid
@squirrel74wkgn: A haunted house would be pretty scary if it was filled with light switches that accidentally turned on the garbage disposal.