@ilovepie84: My neighbor once said he was as healthy as a horse. Today he broke his leg so I had to put him down.
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@FunkyFresh_79: Greatest days of my life: 3) Day I got married 2) Day my first kid was born 1) Day Facebook let you turn off notifications for their games
@kellysoloduka: ME: I used to lay in the dark and invite spirits to inhabit my body. HER: Did they? ME: [levitates, engulfed in flames] WHAT DO YOU THINK?
@jjhartinger: Co-Worker: You say apparently a lot. Me: Yes, I know. CW: It really bothers me. M: Apparently so. CW: You don't care. M: Apparently not.
@_CherriAnn_: I like to make lists. I also like to leave them laying on the kitchen counter and then guess what's on the list while at the store. Fun game