@Kendragarden: My neighbor said "nice skirt" so I said, "thanks, it helps me not blast Miley Cyrus at 6 in the morning, you should borrow it sometime."
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@CherBear162: Another previously unknown dinosaur was the Thesaurus who used flowery language to confuse and disorient predators while he made his escape
@Reverend_Scott: BOSS: I set up a Suggestion Box. Please don't hesitate to- ME: [staring directly at boss while slowly stuffing cream cheese bagel into box]
@joejwest: [judging dog show] DOG: [barks] ME: [ticks clipboard] This one's working fine AUDIENCE MEMBER: You have misunderstood what's required of you