@primawesome: My neighbor told me she doesn't care what people think about her. So I told her I think about her naked. Turns out she's a hypocrite.
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@TheHatdog: Google Search: -is my toaster broken -can fire ants make toast -bathtub fire, small -house fire, how to stop -is house fire toast a thing?
@randomlawless: My coworker replaced her chair with an exercise ball to "work her core." I'm eating a giant chocolate chip cookie for breakfast. I win.
@Zoozich: I just really hate it when people start assuming things.nnnJust like my boss he assumes that I'm working just because I came to work today.