@Try2StopME: Jellyfish have survived here on Earth for 650 million years without brains. Great news for stupid people.

@CherBear162: I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.

@mdob11: [meeting the parents] Do you have one in blonde?

@Jenny4ashley: [tries to blow a kiss] Kiss: I have a boyfriend

@13spencer: A wedding is like inviting your family and friends to the dock to watch you leave England on the Titanic.