@mexinonblonde: I aged about 2 years and counted 14,364 cat hairs on my cashiers blouse at Walmart waiting for her to ring up my groceries.

@wickedimproper: Interview: "Can you hold scissors?" "yes" "Welcome to SuperCuts"

@Writethatdown12: Trainer: "ok, lets warm up 1st....wait, where are you going!?" Me: "tanning bed"

@robfee: This is what we really need to remember from the gold and white or blue and black dress debate.

@ericsshadow: "Stop texting me. If I wanted to go on the second date, I wouldn't have stolen all your jewelry."