@tastefactory: My neighbors complain about me throwing my cigarette butts on the lawn but they'll be pumped when a cigarette tree sprouts in the spring
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@Playing_Dad: If a pregnant friend tells you what the kid's name will be just whisper "AND THE DARK LORD'S PROPHECY WILL BE FULFILLED." They love that.
@justabloodygame: No one sleeps with Gandalf because it takes him until first light on the fifth day to come.
@thetits: GOD: there, my first animal :) SNAKE:youre not done right? How am I supposed to move? G:like this*shimmies* S: G:just kinda*shimmies* S:dude
@Samiam556: Walks you into the bedroom. Stands you up straight against the wall. *you notice the sign that says "You must be this tall to ride this guy"