@Thedudish: My neighbor's dog is so popular that every time he barks, the neighborhood dogs RT him.
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@NicCageMatch: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change & the strength to lift a car over my head. Saving the third wish for later.
@CornOnTheGoblin: [DOG MAGICIAN] think of a color, any color...is it...gray? [OTHER DOG] oh my GOD
@murrman5: [to psychic gf] the spirits you talk to make fun of me don't they "no" [she laughs for no reason] AHHHH *punching the air* FIGHT ME SPIRITS