@215potter: My neighbor's facebook movie is just a montage of me caught on surveillance video, stealing his newspaper every morning.
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@Cpin42: It creeps me out when my dog watches my wife and I have sex. We hide the videotapes, but he always finds them.
@daemonic3: WIFE: Don't embarrass me in front of my boss, he's colorblind ME: Duh [later at party] ME: [to boss] So when did you learn Colorbraille?
@INDlAN_: Cop: Lemme see your papers Me: Okay Cop: These are rolling papers Me: Would you look at that Cop: Sir are you high? Me: What are you, a cop?