@215potter: My neighbor's facebook movie is just a montage of me caught on surveillance video, stealing his newspaper every morning.
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@FaisalAdam_: I try not to tell people I had shoddy dental implants done, but whenever in a conversation, it just comes out.
@iwearaonesie: my signature move is yelling "where in the fridge?!" and "i don't see it!" until my mom comes and finds the applesauce for me