@goldengateblond: My neighbors have both a howling dog and a screaming baby out in their yard. I'd throw a rock or something but I'm afraid I'd hit the dog.
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@ArfMeasures: [customs] "Passport?" *I lift up my bag & a severed head falls out* ME: OH NO OH GOD *still rummaging through bag* ME: I've forgotten it
@Maxine12333: If ex asks you to go bungee jumping remember, cord goes around feet not neck, no matter what they tell you.