@goldengateblond: My neighbors have both a howling dog and a screaming baby out in their yard. I'd throw a rock or something but I'm afraid I'd hit the dog.
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@TheAlexP: The difference between a turtle and a tortoise is the tortoise chose to race a hare and the turtle became a Ninja.
@brennadine: At bedtime I read my daughter a few of my favorite RTs, tuck her in & whisper, "This is why we don't talk to strangers on the internet."
@ramenfuneral: "how about an animal that looks like a cross between a horse and a barcode" - creator of zebras