@goldengateblond: My neighbors have both a howling dog and a screaming baby out in their yard. I'd throw a rock or something but I'm afraid I'd hit the dog.
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@LoriLuvsShoes: Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because I'm pretty? Cop: No Me: Because I'm on Twitter? Cop: No Me: Officer I can do this all day
@TeaAndCopy: ME: I hate owls [Owl turns his head 180°] OWL: What? ME: Oh I didn't see you there OWL: Are you talking behind my back? ME: I'm…I'm not sure